Jenni reflects...


Like so many others on Petticoat Pond - which I love and almost visit daily (cannot do without my petti fix) - I took and interest in things soft and silky from an early age.  I was five and had a girl friend of 3 who wore lovely nylon panties edged with lace which she showed me on request.  I remember wanting to put them on myself but her mum stopped that.  I always got turned on by the sight of a flash of petticoat or lace just peeping out from a skirt - preferably pleated.   I enjoyed these sights whenever I encountered them but gradually, I didn't just want to admire them, I wanted to wear them and to see how they felt. 
On lunch time 20 odd years ago I found a discarded petticoat lying in the road.  I came over all unnecessary at the though that I might get it.  Making sure no one was actually looking, I swooped upon it like an eagle, stuffed it in my pocket, making sure the shoulder straps were not showing, and I couldn't wait to try it on.  Sadly, it had belonged to a teenage girl, so it was a bit tight, but it had a very sexy lower panel that billowed out when twirling.  How I enjoyed that moment.  Suddenly there was an explosion of buying panties and waist petticoats which I stuffed down my trousers, tights.  Once bought, I couldn't wait to get back; I headed for the nearest toilets and changed there.  Oh the relief and the lovely feel of softness around my legs and lower regions.  Soon I was always looking for new items then I felt guilty, eventually threw them away and thought that was that.  But it wasn't.  Some time later, the desire to wear women's underwear returned and I was too weak to resist.  This cycle of buying, enjoying and discarding went on for a few years.  Carelessly, my wife discovered some petticoats hidden in a box in the cellar - where I thought they were safe.  Somehow I explained it away and things went on again.  This shook me a bit, so I left dressing alone for quite a while but the  desire came back again.  This time I was more careful.  I would dress on most occasions that presented themselves but mostly under my own clothes but the sensation was lovely and enjoyable.
Gradually, I came to admire not only women in nice appealing clothes but I had the urge to want to wear them too.  Why should all the women have all the nice things in life to wear?  The lure of high heels, skirts and most of all dresses started to impact on me.  I just loved the excitement of choosing a new petticoat and feeling the back of my hand brushing up against the other petticoats on display.  I usually bought things when I was dressed underneath as this motivated me.  "I'm a girl" I told myself, "why should I be embarrassed to buy these lovely items"  The adrenalin rush when offering the garments to be wrapped and the shaky hand in exchanging money as well as the red face must have made things obvious.  Over the years the more I wore them they almost became a normal part of my life.  I bought other things like Teddies, bras, French knickers - always had to be shiny and silky to win my appeal.
Then I came on-line in 1998 and out of curiosity entered "petticoats" in the search engine.  It was then I discovered Petticoat Pond and have not looked back.  It was here I discovered that the bouffant styles of layered petticoats where still around and there were people who liked - even loved them.  This fired my enthusiasm and interest, because ever since the 50's (and I'm getting near 60 now), I have been turned on by the sight of frilly bouffant petticoats.  How I envied girls for whom it was acceptable to wear them - but now hardly ever do.  Well, if the real girls won't wear them then we Poufies will - and enjoy them to the max.  Just the sight of them makes me go  -  aaahh!  - you know what I mean.  My lifelong dream to have one and wear it is now becoming a reality now that I know some sources.
Just recently, I was "discovered" when my wife came back rather earlier than expected and in my haste to get back to normal, I had to cover some of the garments I was wearing.  I couldn't pretend any longer.  What a relief to know my secret was out, although my wife had been suspicious in earlier times, but she was relieved to know that the "other woman" was my alter ego.   We have talked about it ad nauseam since then.  She was naturally shocked but took a sympathetic view.  Like most women, she cannot understand the buzz we get from it and feels the things we like are just outside her sphere.  She doesn't want to see me dressed, but has even volunteered to do my washing and  mended a petticoat whose strap had become detached.  She has contacted a support group here and has researched the phenomenon in an effort to help her come to terms with it.  She has even suggested that I link with a CD club. She declared me a transvestite - a term I have denied all along.  I have been in denial of my dressing all these years but now I have owned up to the fact that I am one of you.  I am so glad I am not the only one.  Perhaps I can now buy things without having to sneak them in unnoticed and worry about where to hide them.  I have written for her a 14 page paper of my history in dressing and my accompanying thoughts to help her understand me a bit better and for me it was a therapy.  I can now see the trend of wanting to dress all through my life with, at times, significant gaps.
I am at the point where she will read this document.  I have made much emphasis on a life-long desire for a bouffant petticoat and a full skirt to wear over the top and I showed her the web sites where they can be obtained.  Hopefully, she may agree to my buying one and boy (or should it be, 'girl'), I will be on to the web site right away to order one!   I just dream of having all those layers of chiffon swirling around my legs and sexily visible under my skirt.  My other desires are for a bridal dress and those white or pink satin dresses with puff sleeves and full skirts to wear my pettis underneath  -  oh what heaven, what bliss that will be.  The ultimate in femininity.  I also quite like the "little girl" look with loads of pettis and white socks -  mmm, very sexy and I adore UniKaren's pages.  Perhaps, I will progress to wigs and make up and then going out en femme to express the feminine side of me.  At times I feel very feminine and love girlie things and the expression of this is gradually taking shape.  I want to go into shops unembarrassed to ask for a dress - as I have done twice before - which makes a statement - "I am a woman and like to wear what you wear".
I am strictly heterosexual and have no desire to go all the way to be a woman, but I just love getting as close as I can get.  Sometimes I think, "is this just a stage I'm going through" but there is something of the feminine in me that wants expression.  I feel almost depressed when I have to change out of the few clothes I have back into boring old male clothes.  I only wish I could dress for hours at a time and enjoy that sensuous feel of silk, satin and nylon cosseting my body.  Well, that's where I'm at and reading the stories on the web site has made me feel a great sense of belonging to the Poufbunny world. Yes, I now admit I'm a hoplessly-hooked Poufie and proud if it.
Love and kisses to you and all the other Poufies out there


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