Rachel reflects...becoming what she should have always been


I'm not sure how it happened. Maybe it was the fact that I had no brothers growing up and that my father passed away when I was only a baby. Or maybe it was the fact I grew up with only my mom and sister (who had a close
relationship with my aunts). Whatever the cause, I do know this: I grew up feminine. The year was 1954 and I had just turned 5 when my older sister (by 4 years) was getting ready for her first birthday party at her friend
Barbara's house. My mom was a very skilled seamstress and so she had made the dress herself. It was beautiful: White, delicate lace with petticoats to compliment it. Being so young, I didn't know how the world worked and
asked my mom,

"When are you making my dress?". My mother smiled and kissed my cheek, saying, "You're a boy, dear". I was sad. The day of the party came and after she came home from dropping my sister off, she called me upstairs. On my bed lay a blue dress, white stockings, Mary Janes and a white petticoat. My eyes lit up and I turned to face my mother and she nodded her head while giving me a warm smile. She help me put it all on and I was in heaven.

When the party was over, my sister arrived home and found us. She was very cool about it, complimenting me and she even pretended we were sisters for the rest of the day.

The next time came when I was 6. My mother was going on a trip out of town for business and Mrs. Carlson, our
neighbor, had been asked to keep an eye on us. My sister and I dressed up in her very best clothes and showed ourselves to Mrs. Carlson, who gushed over us. We spent the whole weekend that way and it's still a very fond
memory I have.

Later that year, though, came my best childhood memory. My mom held a small family reunion, with her 4 sisters. The week before, she approached me and asked, "Sweetie, would you like to go to the reunion as a girl? My sisters will be fine with it and even think it is adorable."

Of course I said yes. We went shopping for the perfect outfit and found it: white stockings and garter belt, black 1.5 inch heeled shoes, a very delicate, lacy pink sleeveless dress with matching white cardigan sweater
and of course a full white petticoat, which my mom made herself.

The day of the reunion arrived and she was right: My aunts fawned over me. The entire day I was a perfect little lady and loved every moment of it. The only other kids beside my sister and I at the event were my two female cousins, Mary and Patty. The four of us had a lot of fun that day.  For the next few years, my sister (and when I grew too big, my mom) let me wear their clothes often: Pettis, dresses, skirts, bras. They even bought me some of
my own.
By the time I had started high school I had no male friends. I wasn't into sports or the typical male things.

By the time I had entered college I knew my life was on the wrong track. I was totally miserable as a male. Then came the day I told my family the news: I was going to re-start my life, as Rachel. I thought they would disown me, but they were very supportive. They could see I was unhappy and said I should follow my heart.

I was 25 then and the weekend after I broke the news I went in for breast implants, thus starting my new life.

I've now just turned 55 and am surprised at how fast the time seemed to go. My mother passed away several
years ago but my sister and I remain inseparable best friends.

I hope everyone, CD, TS, TG or whatever else has a family as loving and supportive as mine has been.

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