Pettipond Reflections--Topic#10

"Layer Upon Layer"

PETTIPOND REFLECTIONS

TOPIC NUMBER TEN

I was fortunate enough to be born in 1950 and grew up around petticoats and bouffant dresses.  On occasion I will talk to my mother about that period of time and she has said that although she would not change a thing, she had anticipated having at least one little girl that she could dress in ribbons and lace, instead of just two boys.  I have been dressing in pettis, panties, bras, stockings and dresses since I have been ten, hers to start, of course.  Now my question, I would like to share with her the daughter, in me, she has always wanted, but I don't know if I should or how.  Does anybody have any similar thoughts or experiences?

Suggested by Natalie

Rona            8 Jun 16 

I see many have had good results, but my situation was like Candy (below). I very much wanted to tell my mom and I finally got up the nerve and wore one of my sister's dresses to show her how I looked. My mom about went into a heart attack! The bawling, the, "How could you do this to me!", and other horrible reactions. I would have absolutely kept it to myself if I knew that was the end result!  Then it came time to tell my sister. The same shocked reaction! The,
"Don't come to my house dressed like that" type of result.  So if you dare to let on, be aware that it doesn't turn out all roses in some cases! Best to do some careful feeling around with the person about the subject before letting on you are into it! Even the slightest hint of negative response and you had best keep your secret!

Kevin            30 Apr 05

Like you, I was brought up in the 50's.  I was dressed many times as a girl in panties, petticoats, dresses etc. as punishment for striking a girl.  In reality, I loved it.  It felt great and I never got over it.  I did stop hitting the girls, however and had to do my dressing in secret.  To this day I still love to wear feminine clothing.  Two years ago, I got the guts to tell my mother, then 88 years old, how I loved what she did to me, and I still dress today.  She was very accepting and said I was her son and she loved me no matter how I dressed.  She died two months later.  Share your life with your mother before it is too late.  You will be glad you did. 

 Linda Lee     7 Nov 03

A funny thing happened to me on the way through life and in particular on Halloween some years ago. Actually I didn't tell my mother so much as trying to explain why I was wearing a dress almost identical to one I wore around the age of seven.  It went something like this....

I've had this vision of a little girl's dress for years and for years I've loved the 1050's style little girl dresses as an adult.  I often wear country western as a "conservative" version of those fashions.  Anyway, this image, as vague as it was, haunted me and one year I decided to sit with a seamstress and have her fashion something for Halloween.

It was a red taffeta dress with a chiffon pinafore in white.  Under that was a self slip in a very puffy set of petticoats.  That seamstress did a marvelous job and with the addition of a few accessories, Mary Jane shoes from Payless Shoes Source and a strong desire to skip I did Halloween - Happily.  There were pictures and a pretty fun night given the outfit and all things considered.  Those pictures I shared some time later with mom and I don't remember the context.

What surprised me was her surprise and what surprised her was that dress which evidently was just like or nearly like one I wore as a child on another Halloween.  What led the conversation was the fact I'd had it made rather than wear something purchased.  Too "girlish" for a guy was her comment and the rest as they say became our history.

My mother caught me in one of her baby doll nightgowns circa 1952 or so and indulge me for a couple of years.  She assumed I'd outgrow those things and it did go into the closet by the time I was ten or so.  She also assumed
that it hadn't quit and did go into the closet with that dress as evidence.

To this day I will get hand-me-downs or "something" she's found that she thinks I might like and it's almost always feminine.  Our secret but it's been wonderful these few years sharing that side of me.  She did have some guilty feelings over those days worried that I would turn out liking such things.   As if!

Candy       13 Apr 03

Dear Natalie, You already know a little bit about me, but I will write this as if you didn't.


I was raised in a home without a father.  My mother was a very dominant woman, and I had a sister about 4 years older.  According to photos and talks with my sister and a female cousin, I was a "mistake," born into an already disintegrating marriage.
 
My mother, who at that time was quite irresponsible and "flighty," had apparently decided she did not want to raise a boy, so from the time of my birth until the age of 15, I was raised as a girl. At 15, I was "rescued" by an aunt in another locality and transformed into a normal boy.  No one knew I had been a girl except my mother, sister, cousin and her mother.
 
I did not see my mother again for approximately 20 years.  As an adult, I was inexplicably attracted to wearing female undergarments.  I was not gay, even married twice and fathered a daughter, but my attraction gained impetus.
 
After around 22 years, I unknowingly moved into the same town where my mother was living.  After the amiable and surprisingly loving reunion, I attempted to tell my mother several times about my now full involvement in the Little Girl scene, but was unsuccessful.
 
Our relationship grew until we became a family again, but I still was not able to tell her.  Several years later, I took her on a two-week trip to see long-lost relatives.  I drove, which necessitated staying in motels.
 
By then, I was wearing ruffled panties 24/7, and other female attire as often as I could, including nighties at bedtime.  One night, there was a disturbance in the hall of the motel, and I rushed to see if I could assist.  Of course, I was clad in a quite short pink babydoll nighty with matching ruffled panties.
 
When I returned, my mother confronted me about what I was wearing.  A long night of confession, recrimination, and finally reconciliation culminated in a loving relationship to this day.
 
I guess I said all that to say this:  Natalie, your mother is the only one you will have.  After my experience, I believe I should have tried harder to tell her about my "fetish" before I was found out by accident.
 
It is your mother's decision whether she accepts you or not.  I like to think that most mothers will accept their offspring no matter what.  I know there are exceptions, but for the most part I believe it is true.
 
Since that night, long talks with my mother, sister and even my cousin have allowed me to piece together my childhood.  A psychologist has definitively linked my frilly childhood to my love of ruffles, lace and satin today.
 
My mother has accepted my "fetish," even supported it.  She understands that her decision to raise me as a girl was, in all probability,  the catalyst which prompted my love of wearing feminine attire.
 
Natalie, I would counsel to sit down with your mother, on your "turf," in a pleasant atmosphere, and share your deepest desires with her.  I believe you and she will be rewarded by your honesty.
Tammy          11 Apr 03
 
Well I DID did tell!  I told my mother.  I showed my mother I was a girl at heart - she  came home from work to find me cooking dinner in a school dress (1958).  All I can say is "what a mistake!"
 
I told someone who was the giver of life, someone I trusted, someone I loved, my mother. I was 10 at the time.  Did she help me buy me the clothes I loved and wanted to wear?  Hell no.
 
Oh, she dressed me and took me around to all my friends - then she dressed me and I spent 6 years going to head doctors. I was a queer, a fagot, a homo, a sissy. You bet I was...and damn proud of it!
 
What did I get out of the doctors?  Well, I found out many years later that I really hated my parents, when I was well in to my thirties.  I stood up in front of them and looked them in the eyes and told them how much I hated them for all they did to me over the years, the beating, the names, all of it.
 
It was like a pox falling off me and today I'm at peace with whom I am.  I'm a 54-year- old man married for 33 years to a great lady, but every now and then I'm a 4 year old girl just playing with dollies, tea sets, pretty dresses full petticoats.
 
You ask me would you do it again?  NO WAY.  NEVER. I would just keep my mouth shut.  Today my folks are gone we didn't speak for 25 years - not a word.  My sister's still alive with kids I have never seen.  I look back now 45 years at what a mistake I made .  *
Heather in Canada                   7 Apr 03

My mother had four sons, and I was the youngest of the four.  I know she always wanted a daughter to share her female ways.  I am sure she was aware of my strong interest in female clothing and the desire to dress as a girl.  She came upon me being fully dressed from the skin out as a girl by girlfriends in the neighborhood.
Indeed she once asked me if I would like to be a girl.  I replied with a "NO" that was hardly full of masculine resolve.  Sex Reversal Surgery was not a known procedure when I was growing up in the late 40's and early 50's, but if it had been an option, I often wonder whether or not my mother might have discussed it with me as she so wanted a daughter.  Even hormone therapy that could have changed my development as a male to a more feminine body  was not available then.

Now I wonder, if these options had been available,  whether or not my mother  would have encouraged me to follow a path of living as a girl with all the gorgeous crinolines and petticoats under pretty dresses and skirts common in my childhood. What a blissful life that could have been!
 

Denise           31 Mar 03 

Hi Natalie,  your topic/question is likely one of the foremost things on the mind of all Poufbunnies (or whatever you want to call us.}  It's ultimately a decision only you can make, to tell or not to tell.  (The question applies to mothers, fathers, sisters,
brothers, wives, girlfriends, etc.)   You'll have to field some experiences from others as you are doing here, compare them to how it relates to your  situation, determine what choices you have, and make one. 

Having lost my father in the early 90s with my mother and sister the only close family, I thought perhaps it time to reveal my secret.  But, I opted not to.  What would be the purpose?  My mother was always a worrier, so I figured if this bothered her
all she would do is sit around and worry what she did to cause this to happen to me.  That is one of the big problems with this, you never know how someone is going to take it, and sadly it is not taken well the majority of times.  My mom passed on in the mid 90s.  Then thoughts  turned to if I should tell sis.  Jury still out on that.  We have always been very close, why reveal something that could ruin the relationship
with my only close family member?   Others I asked about back then felt I should tell her and give her a chance to know the other side of her little brother. 

Some of us have this choice taken away from us by accidental discovery.  You know, so and came home unexpected while they were dressed up.   Or found the stash of frillies.  An awful way for someone to find out. 

At this point should something happen to me, I've prepared a letter to my sister that is in a sealed envelope with my important papers.   It explains what I am in brief, simple terms.  Also enclosed in a separate small envelope are a couple of photos of me as a girl.  I also explained some of the positive results of being a crossdresser.   The purpose of this, in the event of my sudden death, would to offer an explanation of why all the frilly things in my place.  This is one situation where married crossdressers have a huge advantage, if the wife knows.   Although it certainly happens, I cannot imagine a crossdresser not telling the wife, to not do so before marriage is a huge mistake.  In fact, partner you are getting seriously involved with needs to know. 

That's my comments, you'll have to consider your situation and apply what, if any of it may help you determine the best way for you to proceed. 

RESPOND


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