Pettipond Reflections--Topic#7

"Layer Upon Layer"

PETTIPOND REFLECTIONS

TOPIC NUMBER SEVEN

 

It seems that when a guy enjoys dressing in frilly things he is almost always labeled as a "sissy". Now, that isn't exactly bad, as the dictionary says a "sissy" is an effeminate male. However, we all know that this word is meant as a put-down. It seems to me that that most guys really do notice things like slips, panties, petticoats, etc. However, aside from the "sissy business", it would seem that, in reality, a guy who is daring enough to wear such things is a pretty darned brave to me. Your comments?

Suggested by Denise


Kevin        4-30-05

Denise, thank you for your comment that you feel men are pretty brave just to wear frilly things.  I personally believe that inside every man is something warm and soft wanting to expose itself, but our prejudiced society, hell bent on 'males must be males,' prevents many a man from exposing what makes him comfortable.  Most of my friends and family now know that this man has a softer side and exposes it in a skirt with a pretty slip or crinoline and a panty girdle.  This makes me feel free.  A few of my female friends that dress like men don't like it, but I tell them to be happy in their male clothes because I sure am happy in my non-male clothes. 

Jill            9-14-04
 
I don't use the word sissy for myself, but when I want to express my other side I say that Jill is coming over or my wife will ask about Jill. "Gee, I haven't seen Jill for a while."  When Jill arrives, usually in a maid's dress and a petticoat, I make sure that my wife is happy. She actually asked for Jill tonight for a massage -- as a celebration, I will be dressed accordingly! Candles, Music, Aroma and total pleasure for her. Women are taught to take pleasure in pleasing and serving others such as making and serving a delicious meal.  I said to my wife that the clothes help me perform and feel that role and I have learned to take pride in that. She is pleased when she comes home to find a dinner on the table. My next goal is doing things for her that I really don't want to do. Tuesdays Jill does cleaning and laundry, but you know what (just by writing this), next Tuesday all bathrooms will sparkle!! I want Jill to continue to be a benefit and pleasure to her. She's the woman that I love.
Elinor   22 Jul 02

I believe that the word sissy is becoming a word that Cd'ers now wear as a badge/button -  they wear the word sissy with pride.  If I am a sissy/brave to walk in the street wearing a petti & skirt then I am brave=sissy. Yes Sissy=brave. Is it not a sissy/brave thing to buy a skirt in person from a salesgirl? I have done this Brave? Yes I think so ! If that too makes me a sissy then I am proud to be called a sissy as I too think that it was/is a very sissy brave thing to do.

I wish I had the courage to wear what I wish in daylight on the streets - others are more sissy/brave than I. So you see what starts as a put down is then adopted by people as a badge of courage.  YES ELINOR IS GLAD AND PROUD TO BE A SISSY. Perhaps one day she/I will be sissy enough to go out dressed to this years CD night out in my home city, but I think not.

Still I have gone en-femme - I have bought a skirt from a shop in person & I wore my skirt at 2 pm outdoors. If you call me a sissy, then I thank you for the compliment, because I too think I'm a sissy=brave. All it means in the end is that I love women so much and fine feminine clothes that I wish to wear skirts, dresses and petticoats, also. Nice soft clothes on my skin not course material. Material, whether a petti, slip or skirt, does not have a gender, it's only material even if it is soft silky and feels good. It's also fun being a sissy.

Syndi   20 Jun 01

I  recently began a dialogue with a GG I met on-line and with whom I am planning to begin a relationship which will include playing dress-up...at her insistence <whoopee!!!>

 
As much as she says her perfect mate is a caring, sensitive, and passable crossdresser with whom she can enjoy shopping, movies, etc...when I affectionately referred to myself as a "sissy", she took offense and chided me that she considered it a pejorative label.  She asked me not to refer to myself in that term. (WOW!!)
 
I have always considered myself a sissy...After all, what else can a guy in sillky/frilly lingerie, taffeta pettis, a chiffon formal, and high heels be???
 
The whole idea, as I see it, is to present myself in as SISSY an image as possible.  Oftentimes, I become frustrated and even angry at myself when I get too lazy to dress and/or behave as the sissified persona I so desperately want to project.
 
By the way...when I miss a three foot putt on the golf course, my friends call me sissy, and a whole lot more <giggle>!  If they only knew I was wearing silky, hot pink thong panties and pantyhose underneath...<smile>.
Heather   12 Jan 01

I have been labeled a sissy many times. I agree that it is almost the expected comment when one crossdresses as it was in my case. However I have had this label used simply because I don't project the usual male characteristics of a rough and tough male, and enjoy activities and things that are more what a girl or woman would enjoy. Sensitive, quiet and introspective males are often dubbed with the term "sissy" from my experience. 

Jennifer S Aubrey   9 Nov 00

I feel proud to consider myself a sissy. To dress up like the inner women I am. I remember one time out in public 25 years ago. I bravely changed into a beautiful red sqaure dance dress, panties and black pantyhose and, of course, a red full petticoat. I did not however wear a wig or makeup. I waited until 3 A.M. and marched outside of my apartment to my car and drove around for several miles. I still remember and cherish every second of that episode. From the feeling of the cool air on my cleanly shaven legs as I left the apartment that chilly October evening, to the shaking of my hands as I nervously opened the car door. Driving around and being aware of the incredible sensation of the petticoat and pantyhose on my legs and arms, to the feeling the the bra being pulled firmly to my chest. I looked at each car passing and wondered what they saw looked at my direction. The experienced heightened the thrill of dressing. That, to me
is brave, but the reward was well worth it. I feel we have a great gift that we should appreciate to its fullest. I'm glad to be a sissy.
Donna June  4 Apr 00 

I am so envious of my sisters out there who go out en femme, whether they pass or not. To me, that takes a lot of courage. I've gone rock climbing and even hang gliding, which some think takes courage. I have yet to muster up the bravery to go out in public, even though I've been told I am attractive and passable. As for being a sissy, I love wearing frilly, girly things. If sissy means effeminate, then some may see me that way. When dressed like that I, however, see myself as a woman.  

Rhonda Risque 23 Jan 00

It's inevitable that those boys or men who cross-dress or act feminine will sometimes be called a "sissy." This is unfortunate. I have found increasingly that people are more tolerant of differences than in the past. There are still some who will always label people. It's likely that same ones who use the words "sissy" or "queer" will also use racial slurs. It's a real shame.

Fortunately, while I've been laughed at a few times (especially when walking to or from the night clubs that accept cross-dressers and others who practice alternative lifestyles), I've encountered quite a few people who really get a kick out of those who cross-dress. When I used to go the clubs, I was often asked questions, particularly by "straight" people who came to see the female impersonators perform. I developed something of a following and was actually spotlighted by the mistress of ceremony on occasion. Once, she did a complete make-over of me for the audience. I was taken to the dressing room and my make-up, wig, and dress were greatly improved. I was then brought back to the main room and promenaded as music played. People actually tipped me as if I were one of the regular performers!

Jean 15 Jul 99

I believe that men who are able to take that leap and show the feminine side of themselves and feel good about it make better lovers, husbands, friends, fathers. My husband is in touch with his femme side and I love it. I only wish I would be able to get into the playfulness of the moments more for the two of us.

Rosalyn 17 Jun 99

Even before I had written about my First Transformation (June 10), I tried the dressup thing at Hallowe'en, ten years ago, on the dare of the wives of two close friends. The dare was a result of one of those gender discussions, and they were very explicit about tall and athletic guys, sensitivity, communication skills, and the like. I knew that my wife had a fuschia sweater dress and a black vinyl belt that I could use, but the inner fashions, shoes, and makeup which I would require to pull off my little illusion became the target of an obsessed hunt. In a nutshell, I donned some black patent heels, black control tops, an all-in-one girdle and a longline bustier, and a very lovely black Vanity Fair full slip, completely embellished in lace. I believed that I could pull this off objectively, but I proved myself wrong. The enthusiasm of my wife's friend while she was making me up (her suggestion that I wear everything but the dress, just as one would if you were a woman), and the manner in which she spoke to me, like just another girl, sitting in her kitchen in her slip, caused me to meld into the part I only wanted to portray. Anyways, all of our friends who were at the party were astonished by my feminine mystique and mannerisms, somewhat shocked by the appearance of a wide, lacy hem from beneath the dress, many conceding that if they had not known me, they would have perceived me as a tall, muscular, and very feminine woman. There was nothing sissy about me that evening, and yes, I did enjoy the way that the full slip slid around my behind which was surrounded by the nylon of that heavy-duty girdle; the lingerie even sounded delicious as I walked. I know women who could not wear that much lingerie and successfully pull off a feminine illusion. I'm still unsure if I was acting or if I was in touch with a suppressed feminine persona, but I won the dare hands down, and a deeper respect from those catty female friends; they later explained that if I would have appeared in a cheesy thrift shop dress and somebody's grandmother's shoes, then their point about a man's sensitivity would have been proven. Because I invested the time to find shoes, makeup, a wig, a killer dress, and all necessary lingerie, and then allowed myself to actually experience the role, I was able to win their approval. I felt empowered when I was dressed as a tall woman, and many of the friends at the party, well aware that I was wearing both foundation and pretty undergarments beneath the dress, directed kudos my way for displaying the nerve to show up dressed to the nines.

Joy 27 May 98

Wearing dresses Sissy? No - not in my opinion, especially not if you go out in them. Oh no, not by a long shot! You want to know what sissy is? Sissy is me trying to get up enough courage to wear a scrunchie on my hair outside - at any time! Never mind the fact that most wouldn't see it! My front porch is like a stage - no foolin' - every time I walk out on it I feel as if every eye down that T junction street is turned my direction at that second. And I can see that porch from down the road a half a mile away too! Never mind that no one would care to look! Now if THAT isn't being Sissy - what is??? Surly not wearing dresses, and FOR SURE not going out in them. Oh no - that is being bolder than bold. To Erin and Kerian I take my cap off to you both - you are TRULY bold!!!

Erin MacGuire 25 May 98

I agree wholeheartedly with the idea that a guy who will don a dress, petticoat and all the other undertakings of feminine dress is truly a brave person. Each stage of going en femme is to be considered another high water mark in the personal growth of one's personality.

Going out in public is the next logical step to consider in the growth of a Sissy. What an earth-shattering experience that can be. It is best done in the company of other Sissies first. From that vantage point, the next move will be a solo outing that will definitely enrich the life of a Sissy.

Last St. Patrick's Day, I was called a Sissy for the gold earring I wore at a party. On this occasion, I was not insulted or offended. My only regret was that I was not en femme at the time. I consider the name SISSY as a badge of courage, not the mark of Cain. Most of my life I have been considered much less than masculine, and it used to bother me to
some degree; but when I look at the new low levels masculinity has taken I bask in my inner femininity.

Little did my wife know that when she encouraged me to get in touch with my inner child and feminine side that I would find a little girl living in me.

My LG personality has permeated my adult male life and made me a better and more understanding person of diverse peoples, for which I am eternally grateful. I find and enjoy beauty every place I look and have a new-found appreciation for the struggles of the fairer sex.

I'm proud to be a SISSY, and actually glow when referred to as one. My screen name at Erols also indicated my feelings about the subject too. Someone laughed and mentioned the Erinboy sounded like a sissy name. I replied "only to the ears of the beholder."

Kerian 24 May 98

You bet you have to be brave to wear petticoats or other frilly thing. This is not just my own opinion but some women who have seen me cross dressed in my yards and yards of petticoat with a nice outfit over it have said the same thing.

Men are by generally trained by society to not show a soft side and not be attracted to soft frilly things. Some of us are very touch oriented and become attracted to frilly things anyway because of the way they feel and others may have not been taught to fully suppress their feminine side, leaving them with a gender identity that is somewhat between the society male role and the society female role. I believe that in my case both of these factors played a part in my attraction to petticoats and other frilly things.

Since men who play the society male role have pretty well suppressed their feminine identity they are unable to understand or cope with another man who is dressed in drag. The only answer for them seems to be that a man who wears feminine attire wishes to be a woman, and it therefore a sissy.  I do not have evidence to support this but I suspect that most men who have adopted the society male role model as their way to live feel extremely threatened by those whom they perceive as effeminate. It seems that we are confronting them with the idea that it is ok to have a soft side, and this directly contradicts what they have been taught. When people feel threatened they are much more likely to respond with physical violence that at any other time, and the real threat of physical violence does make me careful about where I go cross dressed. Truck stops are probably not the best place to be seen wearing a dress.

Regardless of the label of society I am far from being a sissy even though as I write this I am wearing a nice ladies' square dance outfit with big petticoat. It makes me feel nice and there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel nice about oneself. I am not an effeminate male (which is the definition of a sissy) simply because I enjoy wearing nice frilly clothes.

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