"Layer Upon Layer"
TOPIC NUMBER ONE
ONE GET HIS (OR HER) "SIGNIFICANT OTHER" TO APPRECIATE
(AND EVEN WEAR) PETTICOATS AND CRINOLINES?
Suggested by Davita
From my experience, it is very difficult to get a significant other (especially a wife) to appreciate the enjoyment that some men get from wearing petticoats. I've been married twice and both wives didn't want me to cross-dress, let alone wear petticoats. During my first marriage, I often would put on her clothes when she was gone. I once persuaded her to wear three very pretty, taffeta petticoats to a formal dinner. She looked very sexy and I must admit I enjoyed seeing her dressed that way, especially when she danced with other men. Between my marriages, I did date a woman for a time who had had another friend who cross-dressed and she actually had me dress-up and took pictures of me. I also had numerous male friends who enjoyed seeing my dressed-up. Many people were fascinated when I wore petticoats and sometimes wanted to examine them. I had my picture taken at local bars when I went out in drag. I've given this up for my second marriage, but admitted to my wife that I can't say I didn't enjoy doing it. I stopped out of consideration for her and because I'm getting older and don't think I look as pretty as I did.
|Sylvia Marie Aster
As someone with a very understanding significant other, it has been easy for me to gain acceptance for my fashion-related interests. It occurs to me that I might be making things seem to simple in the following response, so please take my comments with a grain of salt, and reflect on your own situation(s).
As with any hobby, it is good to approach discussions of your interests slowly. One grave error is to allow yourself be mistaken for someone with an obsession, especially if you truly are. ;-) Seriously, the way to begin is tangentially. Point out to your friend or lover examples of your interest. Movies are a great place to begin with this. There are a whole bunch of movies listed here at the Pond, any of which will serve as example fodder. Watch one with him or her, and make a soft comment during the appropriate scene about how sexy or attractive (your call) the woman wearing the crinie looks. If (s)he asks, offer a cursory explanation, but (as I always put it) don't drool verbally! It make take several carefully spaced instances of this activity to get the point made.
The next stage might well be served by an opportunity to attend a 'fancy dress' or costume party. Costumes with crinolines may be rented, and you may thus avoid the hassle of arguing over a purchase. When your S.O. agrees, and wears the desired costume, be sure to react positively, and accompany words with paired affection. Let him/her know that you are attracted, but again, don't act like a wolf! Be genteel. He or she is now the 'lady' you've longed for, remember? More discussion might follow this event. It's best if your lover brings this up in conversation before you do. If (s)he doesn't, gently broach the subject. Talk, by all means! Continue to be genteel. It's all right to show disappointment if you are refused... Just don't be petulant! Beyond this, it's best to drop the subject if she/he resists and begins to look at you as an 'oddball'. Don't ruin an otherwise loving relationship over two or three bolts of stiff nylon net! Remember, you always have your private time and your imagination - and this community - to fall back on! Love yourself, and be content. Then, give your heart to those you love. Life is too short for warring over hobbies!
My wife knew of my absolute fascination with petticoats and my enjoyment about being around them. Thus, it was with little difficulty that I persuaded her to allow me to make a gift of one to her and for she and I to attend square dancing (first classes, then a club) together. Rather recultantly, she went along, although looking back I can see that she did it (I suspect), mostly to please me. She already owned one rather tired and sad looking, droopy petticoat. I purchaed a nice new, spring one for her, as well as several nice blouses and skirts. Square dance class evening always meant an evening which included a pleasant dinner (we left her petticoat in the car and she wore her outer-wear into the Denny's or wherever we went), and lots of pleasant times with nice folks. The BEST part came when we got home: I would be so worked up from being around all those petticoats, and actually having women press up against me while wearing them, it's a miracle my heart didn't burst out of my chest! Anyway, I was so turned on by the time we got home that my wife could hardly believe it was the same person who had left the house earlier in the evening. Sadly, this wonderful, incredible period of our (my) life passed. My wife's complaining and wearing the clothes, coupled with her less and less frequent appearances at the square dancing (I didn't pressure her...nothing's worse than being forced to do something you don't enjoy), eventually caused us both to drop out of the square dancing community. Her petticoat is folded up (as much as it can be, that is) and rests at the bottom of a large cardboard box in the top of a spare bedroom closet.
My wife knows of my love for petticoats and for square dancing and has given me her quote unquote permission to go ahead and enjoy myself. However, I love my wife and married her for all her traits, good and (what I consider) not-so-good. So I subordinate my own true feelings and stay close to the one I love. She says when she is older and no longer working and not always so worn out and tired she MAY consider square dancing again. In the meantime, a marvelous period of my life is, alas, but a warm memory. For my own enjoyment, I'm the one wearing the petticoats now!...but that's another story.
I don't have such an understanding better half as others stated before me. However, she really is very tolerant of a lot of people and lifestyles. I think she just never expected to be living with one of those differnt lifestyles. She knows I dress and I believe she's finally realizing I have to. This, however, does not mean she wants to participate. I mention to her from time to time that I would like us to have similar outfits; usually resulting in a scowl. She has given in to some things. I've been with her for 23 years--I figure I got at least 23 more to get her in a petti with me.
I have been fortunate that my wife of thirteen years will share my need to have her wear petticoats and full slips on occasion. It took a bit of time but I slowly introduced her to the excitment of the feeling of the slips on her body. It was and is important that she feels comfortable when she wears her outfits out of the house. Halloween is a time she will select an outfit that she can wear a full skirt with a petticoat. Of course she dressed in a poodle skirt two years ago and this year she surprised me when she picked a Little Bo Peep outfit complete with petticoat and pettipants. She now picks casual outfits with which she can show off her frilly slips. Some are full while some are short and have lots of lace. It has taken alot of understanding and patience by both of us but its been worth it.
|Liesel Siobhan 7/9/97
Folk dancing is a good way to get your SO into petticoats. There are many ethnic folk dances where the costumes include petticoats. Western Style Square Dancing is an example where you can find opportunities to participate in virtually every US city and most of the towns. In fact, Western Style Square Dancing is standardized around the world. No matter what country you're in, the calls work the same way and the calls are always in English. The countries of Japan, Germany, the UK are a few examples; even China is starting to Square Dance. Yes, you have to go to class each week, but I can't think of many times when we've had more FUN! than in Square Dance class. Oh, don't worry about the lessons. I never danced in my life until we started Square Dance class. Believe me, if you can walk, you Can! Square Dance. The best part of course is ALL the Pretty Frou Frou.
If you have a support group that would like to try it you could even hold a dance where Everyone! comes in Frou Frou. Even if you've never done it before you'll find that most callers are excellent at providing a really fun dance for first timers. Also, most callers wouldn't be upset or judgmental about being asked to call for a T group.
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